Stage fright

The hour before you speak comes early, and your body acts as if it has to run from a room where you've only been asked to say a few true words.

The hour before you speak

It might be a reading at a funeral, a few words at a table of old friends, or a meeting where you hear your name and feel the room tilt. The job is often small, but your heart hurries, your mouth goes dry, and the sentence you rehearsed in the kitchen vanishes in the hallway. Stage fright is one of the oldest human feelings, and having it doesn't make you ridiculous.

Some people are surprised it didn't retire when they did. Others take it as proof they don't belong at the front of a room. Either way, your body is reacting to being watched, and a short practice can help you through the hour. If speaking, or even thinking about speaking, brings panic that rules your weeks, talk with your doctor.

A sentence for yourself

Self-hypnosis, on Arcana Mentis, means a few calm minutes in which you offer yourself a helpful sentence. Never try it while you're driving, cooking over a flame, or doing anything else that needs your full attention. Settle into a chair you can easily leave before you begin.

If you're nervous about someone who'll be at the event, you have simple tools for that. You can tell them you're nervous, or ask for a seat near the door.

A few calm minutes

Choose the sentence beforehand, while you feel like yourself. Keep it true, small, and modest, such as "I can say the next true sentence, and then I can stop," or "My feet are on the floor, and this room is only a room." Skip "I won't be afraid" if your body will laugh at it, because a sentence you don't believe turns into an argument. Let your shoulders drop if they will, and breathe normally. Say the sentence to yourself a few times, in the voice you'd use for someone you respect, and then let it go.

Open your eyes before you stand. Feel the chair, your shoes, and the weight of your hands, and say your own name once if the room still feels far away. Once you're fully back, head toward the place where you'll speak. You can hold your notes, and you can say less than you planned.

Afterward

When it's over, you may want to put yourself on trial in the car or the kitchen. Put that off until you've had a glass of water and a rest. Whether you spoke or not, the day goes on, and if you did speak, count it, even if your courage never once felt like calm.

If you need care

If you're in crisis in the United States, call or text 988 (https://988lifeline.org/) now. If you're outside the United States, call your local emergency number or a local crisis line. If the fear keeps growing, stop experimenting and talk with your doctor, and keep taking any prescribed medicine, including medicine for anxiety, as prescribed. There's more in the hypnosis room, short definitions in the glossary and under self-hypnosis, and short answers in the FAQ. Nothing here is for sale.