Quitting a habit

You're tired of the deal you make with the habit every evening. A calm sentence you offer yourself can help you keep a small promise, alongside any care you need.

The deal you're tired of making

The habit has a polite voice. It says later, or just this once, or that a long day has earned it. It might be the late cigarette, the third glass, the phone in bed, or the sharp reply. Some people are worn out from making the same deal every night, and others feel the habit is the only ritual their evening has left.

This page won't rank your habit against anyone else's or try to shame you into a stricter personality. It offers a way to talk to yourself on purpose about a change you already chose while you were calm. It can't promise the habit will give way, and anyone who promises that is selling a story.

When your doctor needs to be involved

If the habit involves alcohol, a drug, or anything a doctor is already helping you with, please don't use this page as a plan for stopping. Quitting some things suddenly can be dangerous, and your doctor can help you do it safely. If you take an antidepressant or any other prescribed medicine, keep taking it as prescribed, even if a calm evening leaves you feeling like a new person. Bring your questions to the doctor who prescribed it.

Self-hypnosis here means a few minutes of focused attention and a sentence you offer yourself. Never practice while you're driving, using machinery, cooking over a hot stove, or keeping someone else safe, so settle into a chair first.

A sentence for yourself

Choose your sentence in daylight, before the hour when the habit usually starts talking, and make it true. You might try "When I want the old deal, I'll leave the room and fill a glass of water first," or "I can put it off, and putting it off counts." Skip any boast your evening self would laugh at. Settle into a chair you can easily get up from, and say the sentence to yourself a few times, slowly, as if you respect the person who has to keep it.

Then open your eyes, feel your feet, and do one ordinary thing that goes with the sentence. Put the cigarettes on a high shelf, charge the phone in another room, or rinse the glass before it becomes a second glass. The action is what matters, and the calm minutes help you remember which action you meant. If you feel strange afterward, stop, look around the room, and check with your doctor before you try again.

The next morning

In the morning, write one honest line: you kept the sentence, you didn't, or you kept a smaller version of it. Skip the medal and skip the punishment. Some nights the habit will win, and that tells you how strong the pull is. Start again the next time you're calm enough to choose, rather than in the middle of a craving.

If the habit is hurting you or the people you live with, or you can't tell anymore whether you're choosing it, asking for help is a sensible step. Your doctor can point you toward treatment that fits. In the meantime, you can still keep one smaller promise, once, in a real room with the lights on.

If you need care

If you're in crisis in the United States, call or text 988 (https://988lifeline.org/) now. If you're outside the United States, call your local emergency number or a local crisis line. Habits tangled up with alcohol, drugs, or prescribed medicine need a doctor's help, and any prescribed medicine stays as prescribed until you've talked it over. There's more in the hypnosis room, short definitions of hypnosis and self-hypnosis in the glossary, and short answers in the FAQ. Nothing here is for sale.