When you stop driving
Giving up the car keys can feel like losing a piece of yourself, and the weeks after are easier with a plan for rides and a reason to get out each day.
Why giving up driving feels like losing your independence
Coping with giving up driving usually means handling two losses at once: the practical one, which is how you’ll get to the store and the doctor, and the emotional one, which is the freedom to go where you like without asking anyone. Both can be eased. Line up several kinds of rides before you need them, plan your week around a few fixed outings, and keep the people you love on your calendar so the house doesn’t close in around you.
For most adults, the car has been part of daily life since they were teenagers. It took you to work, to the hospital when the babies came, to ball games, funerals, and late-night pharmacy runs. Keys on the hook by the door meant you could leave whenever you wanted, even if you rarely did. When the car goes, many people feel smaller in a way that’s hard to explain to family. You may feel embarrassed, angry at your eyes or your reflexes, or worried about becoming a burden.
Those feelings are normal, and they deserve room. Grief over a car can sound silly when you say it out loud, but people who study aging describe the end of driving as one of the big transitions of later life, alongside retirement and moving house. Give yourself the same patience you’d give a friend going through it.
The decision about driving belongs with you and your doctor
Whether and when to stop driving is a decision for you to make with your doctor, and this page can’t tell anyone whether they’re safe behind the wheel. If you’ve noticed changes, such as trouble seeing at night, getting lost on familiar roads, slower reactions, new dents in the bumper, or close calls you can’t explain, write them down and bring the list to your next appointment. You might say, “I’ve had two close calls this year, and night driving scares me now. I’d like to know whether I’m still safe.”
Your doctor may check your vision, your medicines, and your health conditions, since some of these can affect driving and some can be treated. Some doctors suggest a driving evaluation with a driver rehabilitation specialist, an occupational therapist or similar professional who tests driving skills on the road and in the office. Sometimes the answer is to keep driving with limits, such as daylight only, close to home, and no highways, and sometimes the answer is to stop.
If your family is worried, invite one of them to come to the appointment with you, so everyone hears the same thing from the same person. That tends to work better than a tense conversation at the kitchen table. If you take a prescribed medicine that you think affects your driving, ask the doctor who prescribed it, and keep taking it as prescribed until you’ve talked it over.
Some people decide on their own after a scare, and some have it made for them by a medical condition or the state. If it wasn’t your choice, anger is a fair response. It still helps to make the next decisions your own: which rides to use, which outings matter most, and how your week will look.
How to find rides when you can no longer drive
The best plan uses several kinds of rides, so one cancellation doesn’t strand you. Start with a call to your local Area Agency on Aging, a public office in every part of the United States that connects older adults with local services. Ask what transportation is available near you: volunteer driver programs, senior center shuttles, rides to medical appointments, and discounted transit passes. To find your agency, call the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116, or dial 211 and ask for help with transportation.
Volunteer driver programs run through many churches, senior centers, and community groups. Volunteers drive you to appointments, the grocery store, and sometimes social outings, often for free or for a small donation. Book early, because the drivers fill up fast, and keep a list of the numbers by the phone.
Public transit and paratransit can cover a lot of ground. Paratransit is a door-to-door shared ride service for people whose disability keeps them from using regular buses, and transit systems in the United States are required to offer it along their routes. You usually need to apply ahead of time and book rides a day or more in advance. Many transit systems also offer reduced fares for older riders. Ask a family member to ride the bus with you once, so the route and the fare machine feel familiar.
Ride services such as taxis and ride-hailing apps cost more but let you go when you want. If you’d rather not use a smartphone app, some services let you book by an ordinary phone call, and a family member can set up an account and book rides for you. If you have health insurance through Medicaid or a Medicare Advantage plan, call the number on your card and ask whether rides to medical appointments are covered. For money questions about which option suits your budget, a family member or a professional you trust can help you compare.
Then there are family, friends, and neighbors. A neighbor who already drives to the grocery store on Saturday mornings may be glad to have company. Write down everyone who has offered, along with the days they’re usually free, so you’re asking the right person on the right day.
Planning a week without the car
A week without a car works best when it has a few fixed points you can count on. Take a sheet of paper and write the seven days down the side. Fill in what has to happen first: medical appointments, the pharmacy, and groceries. Then add one or two outings that are only for you, such as church, a class, lunch with a friend, the library, or the hairdresser. Next to each one, write how you’ll get there and a backup ride.
A simple week might look like this: Monday, the senior center shuttle to the lunch program; Wednesday, a volunteer driver to the grocery store; Friday, the bus to the library and a coffee; Sunday, a ride to church with the couple from two doors down. That’s four trips out of the house, and none of them depends on one person.
Bundle errands where you can. A ride to the doctor can include a stop at the pharmacy next door. Many grocery stores and pharmacies deliver, and having heavy items brought to the door saves your rides for the outings you enjoy. Keep a running shopping list on the refrigerator so a ride never gets wasted on a forgotten item.
Look at what’s within walking distance, too. If your doctor says walking is fine for you, a daily walk to the corner store or the park bench gets you outside, keeps your legs strong, and puts you in front of neighbors. Wear good shoes, carry your phone, and choose routes with sidewalks and places to rest.
Staying connected after you stop driving
The biggest risk after giving up the car is a slow slide into staying home. Without the easy trip to the store or the drop-in visit, days can pass with no conversation at all. Public health agencies link long stretches of isolation with poorer health, so it’s worth protecting your time with people as carefully as your medical appointments.
Set at least one standing date each week that someone else expects you at. Choir practice, a card game, a volunteer shift, or a weekly lunch with your sister gives you a reason to arrange the ride, and people will notice if you don’t come. Ask friends to visit you as well. Many people are glad to come over for coffee if you ask directly: “I don’t drive anymore. Would you come by for coffee on Thursday? I’ll bake.”
Use the phone and video calls generously. A short daily call with one person, even 10 minutes, keeps you in each other’s lives. If you don’t yet use video calls, a grandchild can set one up and leave you written steps taped beside the tablet. Some libraries and senior centers offer free classes on phones and tablets. Be careful with strangers who reach out online or by phone offering rides, prizes, or friendship and then ask for money or bank details; hang up and tell someone you trust.
If loneliness is creeping in, wanting a friend at 70 has ideas for building a circle later in life, and a retirement morning helps give open days some shape.
Asking for rides without feeling like a burden
Many people would rather stay home than ask for a ride. It can help to remember how often you drove others over the years, to practice, to the airport, to the hospital at two in the morning. Asking for a ride now is part of the same give and take. Most people are glad to help when the request is specific and has an end.
Make your asks easy to say yes to. Give the day, the time, the place, and how long it will take: “Could you drive me to the eye doctor on Tuesday at 10? It’s about an hour start to finish.” Spread the asks around so no one person carries them all. Offer something back that suits you, such as gas money, a loaf of banana bread, or an hour of reading to their children.
If you care for someone else, or if a family member has become your main driver, check in with each other now and then about how it’s going. Caregivers get tired too, and the caregiving page looks at how the person giving the rides can stay well too.
When the low feeling doesn’t lift
Feeling down for a few weeks after giving up driving is common. Tell your doctor if the low mood lasts most days for two weeks or more, if you’ve stopped wanting to see people or do what you used to enjoy, if you’re sleeping or eating much more or much less, or if you’ve started drinking more to fill the afternoons. You might say, “Since I stopped driving in March, I’ve hardly left the house, and I feel low most days.” Your doctor can help you sort out what’s going on. Keep taking any prescribed medicine as prescribed while you talk it over.
Common questions
How do I cope when I can no longer drive?
Start by letting yourself feel the loss, since losing the car can hurt like losing a piece of your independence. Then build a ride plan with several options, such as family, a volunteer driver program, paratransit or the bus, and a taxi or ride service for times you want to go on your own schedule. Plan each week around a few fixed outings, including at least one that’s only for enjoyment. Keep in touch with people by phone and invite friends to visit. If you feel low most days for two weeks or more, tell your doctor.
Who decides when it’s time to stop driving?
That decision belongs with you and your doctor, and sometimes your state’s licensing office has a say as well. If you’ve noticed changes such as trouble seeing at night, getting lost, slower reactions, or close calls, write them down and bring them to your next appointment. Your doctor may review your vision, health conditions, and medicines, and may suggest a driving evaluation with a driver rehabilitation specialist. Bringing a family member to the visit can help everyone hear the same advice. This page can’t tell anyone whether they are safe to drive.
What is the Area Agency on Aging, and how can it help with rides?
An Area Agency on Aging is a public office that connects older adults and their families with local services, and every part of the United States is served by one. The staff can tell you about volunteer driver programs, senior center shuttles, rides to medical appointments, transit discounts, and meal programs in your area. To find yours, call the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116, or dial 211 and ask for help with transportation. It helps to have a pen ready and to ask for each program’s phone number and how far ahead you need to book.
How can I stay social without a car?
Choose a few standing weekly activities that people expect you at, such as church, a class, a lunch program, a card game, or a volunteer shift, and arrange rides to those first. Invite friends to visit you at home, and be direct about it: tell them you don’t drive anymore and ask them over for coffee on a set day. Use daily phone calls and video calls to keep in touch between visits. Look for activities within walking distance, if your doctor says walking is fine for you, so some outings don’t need a ride at all.
Will Medicare pay for rides to the doctor?
Original Medicare generally covers ambulance transport in emergencies and some specific medical situations, and it doesn’t usually cover routine rides to appointments. Some Medicare Advantage plans include rides to medical appointments as an extra benefit, and Medicaid covers non-emergency medical transportation for people who qualify. Coverage varies by plan and by state, so call the number on your insurance card and ask directly. Your local Area Agency on Aging can also tell you about free or low-cost medical ride programs nearby.
Learn more from trusted sources
These public health agencies explain why staying connected matters and how to keep in touch, in more detail than this site does.
- Tips for staying connected from the National Institute on Aging lists practical ways to see and hear from people more often.
- Social connection from the CDC explains why time with other people matters for your health.
If you need care
If you’re in crisis in the United States, call or text 988. You don’t need a good reason or the right words. Outside the United States, call your local emergency number or a local crisis line. If the low feeling keeps coming back, tell your doctor what your days are like, and keep any prescribed medicine as it is until you’ve talked it over together. There’s more in the getting your life back room and short answers in the getting your life back FAQ.